Salt Lake County Health Department’s new brochure bespeaks fecal matter. That’s because it is about the ‘Proper Clean-Up of Human Waste and Drug Paraphernalia’. If you haven’t noticed, there’s a lot of poop on the ground these days, particularly downtown and in our parks. I’m not talking the usual dog doo found on the random sidewalk or lawn, but human dung dropped at the back door of your business or rubbed on your building’s front door.

You see, if you didn’t know it, stimulant drugs make your bowels move. Logically you put poison in your body and your body is going to want to discharge it…fast. A “scientifical” friend told me that when you ingest certain drugs such as MDMA, meth or caffeine, you get an increase of serotonin in your brain. Serotonin messes with your appetite, mood, sleeping patterns and is made in our guts. A rush of serotonin means you’re going to poop right after you take your drugs. Ever take a pre-workout supplement loaded with caffeine before you go to the gym? Bet ya the first place you stop after checking in is the toilet!

Addicts can’t always control themselves, or even know they are taking a dump because they are so high. The Health Dept. wants you to know that human fecal matter is a bio-hazard, and if you are the unlucky employee or business owner who has to remove the crap, use gloves and a mask and then put the crap in a plastic bag and into the trash. Throw cat litter down on the brown spot if you have any available, and spray a 1:10 bleach/water solution to clean and disinfect the dirty surface. If by chance there are drug needles around, pick them up with pliers and put them in a water bottle with a lid and throw them out.

It is the law that if you are an owner, occupant or person responsible for a building you must remove ‘material that is a nuisance or significant threat to public health. Tough on the owners, but you’ve got to keep a property clean and free of solid waste, especially sidewalks and parking strips.

Babs De Lay is a broker with Urban Utah Homes and Estates