Utah Hall of Fame

current nominees: Calvin Rampton, Philo T. Farnsworth, Tom Gunia, Bob Bennett, Jake Garne, Babs De Lay, James Sorenson, Karl Malone, John Stockton, Marie Osmond, Jim Bridger

Napoleon DynamiteJared Hess filmed an new ending to Napoleon after it was bought by MTV. The new ending cost nearly as much as the entire original film.Many of the characters in Napoleon are actual citizens of the town of Preston Idaho. Such as the chicken farmer and the children on the school bus, who scream after watching the chicken farmer butcher a cow with a shotgun.

Break dancer, bass fisherman, skilled numb chuck fighter, mythical warrior artist. In most Utahns estimation the greatest comic character of all time. Despite Napoleon’s roots being in Idaho, Utahns are very proud that the filmmakers: Jared and Jerusha Hess, and stars of the movie Jon Heder (Napoleon) and Aaron Ruell (Kipp) are B.Y.U. alumni.

Napoleon Dynamite “John Heder”

 

Rocky AndersonRocky’s real name is RossRocky traveled to Turino, Italy not using one drop of gas. Traveling by wind powered sail boat and bicycle.

Rocky used to be good friends with Mitt Romney and the both helped get each other elected. However, today they are no longer speaking to each other.

Liberal Salt Lake Mayor heck bent on personally saving us all from global warming. Appears constantly on public access T.V telling us how much he is doing as Mayor to stop climate change, personally saving us all from eminent global destruction. Rocky is on a personal crusade to save us by driving his natural gas powered vehicle to work. Ross recently gained national attention by calling our president an “idiot, liar”; Causing some conservative conventions to be canceled in Salt Lake City. However seeming focused on a much broader scale than his office merits Anderson can be credited for our orange pedestrian flags placed on either side of all busy crosswalks in downtown Salt Lake City.

Dell SchanzeSchanze loves the 2nd amendment and he loves gunsSchanze once had an employee caught stealing 10 k work of computer equipment. Schanze responded to the incident saying “when you are making 100 k a day its a little hard to notice when someone steals 10k worth of equipment.

Schanze is a return L.D.S missionary and a devout Mormon

Understood at a very young age that the words “Totally Awesome” have a certain power over Utahns in making purchase decisions. Former owner of Totally Awesome Computers and Totally Awesome Guns and Range “Super Dell” opened many locations of his computer shops before his fast driving and gun slinging antics got him in trouble. He was chased down by angry neighbors for speeding in their cul-de-sac. The neighbors caught up with Dell and he pulled his 45 on them, or maybe it was a 37. Dell was recently cited for flying his motored paraglide too close to the freeway. Schanze blames the demise of his business on the unfair media coverage he received. Come on Utah Stories Dell and we will give you the last word.

John Huntsman Jr.Huntsman is the son of billionaire petrol chemical company founder John Huntsman.Huntsman is currently looking for a way to socialize medicine in Utah

Huntsman has two adopted chinese children

Huntsman is very thin

Utah’s Governor, the black sheep of the Huntsman dynasty. Junior dropped out of High School to play in a rock band at a young age, and then eventually became a U.S. Ambassador to Singapore. The events in between are a little fuzzy. Huntsman recently bought socks from a Chinese street vendor where the legitimacy of the currency he passed was questioned. Huntsman quipped back in his fluent Mandarin”Don’t I look like someone you can trust?” We Utahns trust our governor his approval rating is sky high.

Former Governor of Utah. Lieutenant governor who became Governor after Michael Leavitt was called by President Bush to become Director of Health and Human Services. Walker was sidelined by the Utah Republican party and wasn’t even given a chance to run on the ballot. Walker spent much of her time as Governor making attempts to reform the Utah tax code.

Olene Walker (Governor)

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Opened her cookie store as a young mother (age 20) with no business experience in Palo Alto, California

Mrs. Fields production model, using computers to program operations, has become a world-wide model for efficiency in the food industry

Mrs. Fields has five daughters and resides in Memphis Tennessee

Serves on the board for Outback Steakhouse

Millionaire cookie mogul. Mrs. Fields is personally responsible for the obesity epidemic in Utah. She and her cookies have made her millions while at the same time making majority of Mormon Utah housewives overweight. Mrs. Fields herself has a trim beautiful figure; this is because she has discovered a secret antidote that gives her the ability to resist her own cookies. Currently Mrs. Fields will not reveal this chant for harm it could cause a decline in her profit margins. (Debbie Fields has no direct Utah connections that we could find, yet she is listed on Utah famous women so maybe we are missing something. )

Edward AbbeyAbbey gave specific instructions to be buried in a sleeping bag transported by pick-up truck into thedesertmany believe Abbey supported “ecotage” sabotaging modern structures to revive lost ecosystems

Desert Solitaire is number seven on National Geographic’s best adventure books of all time

(deceased) Environmentalist, Author(waco some say). Abbey was paid one summer back in the ’50s to keep an eye on things in the Canyon lands National Park. There he grew his beard, befriended the wild and wrote “Desert Solitaire” a book that maintains the theme that by exploiting nature we are removing a critical connection that binds us to nature and our true sense of humanity. Abbey believed Glenn Canyon Dam and Lake Powell were a disastrous mistake. His opinions helped ignite the environmental movement.

Every Utahan who would like to better understand Southern Utah’s dessert arches canyons and rivers needs to read Desert Solitaire

Orin HatchHatch’s Great-Grandfather was founder of Vernal UtahHatch has called global warming “science fiction”

Hatch supports stem cell research

Hatch plays piano, violin and organ

Hatch says Democrats winning helps the terrorists

Conservative, 30 year member of the U.S. Senate. Orin is a song writer, patriot whom most Republicans adore. Little do most Utahn’s know that Hatch is a great song writer; Hatch has written hundreds of songs of faith and patriotism. Hatch is one of the most senior members of the Senate. Serving on many important committees. He says we must keep re-electing him because if we don’t Utahns will lose the power he wields being such a senior member. ( he means the early-bird lunch specials and the close parking spot to the White House)

Robert Redfordborn in Santa Monica, son of a milkmanearliest appearance was on the Twilight Zone

Directed A River Runs Through it in 1992

owner of Zoom Restaurantin Park City

Redford has four children with his first wife. Now has four grandchildren

Residing in the Independent Republic of Park City as an actor film festival owner. Redford makes Utah his home where he has established a liberal bastion for any filmmakers who wish to make movies that are anti-capitalist, anti-war, anti-Republican. If you have a film that falls under one of these categories Redford would love to have it in his festival called “Sundance”. (Redford played the Sundance kid in a Hollywood film) Actually Sundance has become the most acclaimed film festival and venue for independent film. Every year Hollywood flocks to the Independent Republic (otherwise know as Park City) to screen premieres; many of which have gone on to become the most successful independent films ever made including: Napoleon Dynamite, Garden State,Whale Rider and Pulp Fiction to name a few.

Wallace Stegner

Famous author “Mormon Country, “Angle of Repose”, and “Big Rock Candy Mountain”. Stagner’s deep understanding of the West was recognized to the extent that he was made an advisor to the department of the Interior during the Nixon, Ague administration. In 1992, protesting government involvement in the arts, he turned down the National Medal from the National Endowment for the Arts, saying government “has no business trying to direct or censor the arts.”

Wallace Stegner (Author)

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Forest CuchGraduated from the Wasatch Academy. Says it was the great education that he received there that inspired him to help more Ute children to have better access to good education.Believes that the public school curriculum teaches a false history of his Ute Indian tribe.

The Uintah-Ourray Reservation is the 2nd largest in the country with 4.5 million acres.

Ute Indian leader, head of the Utah Division of Indian Affairs. Cuch and other Utes believe the University of Utah Utes doesn’t portray Utes in a demeaning manner, especially if the University of Utah gives all Ute Indians scholarships to attend their University for free (source). It’s the least Utah can do for the harm they have done in granting them their “nation within a nation” status. Of coarse this is a cheeky commentary. Cuch is a very eloquent well read professional who is a great Indian leader. Cuch appears in the Utah Stories exclusive documentary on Ute Tribe Education.

Aaron RalstonRalston cut his arm off while not being able to stomach disecting a sheeps eyeball in 9th grade.Says cutting his own arm off was painful but also “the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt.”

Ralston videotaped the entire three days as well as the amputation. He has only shared a portion of that foodage with Dateline NBC

Rock climbing in Southern Utah alone without ropes, Ralston fell, got his arm pined between a boulder and a cliff. Six days passed before he sawed his own arm off with serrated army knife blade. Ralston then became a national figure, appearing on Oprah, Dateline NBC, Letterman. Ralston now makes six figures for speaking engagements as well as the book he has written about the experience “Between a Rock and a Hard Place”. Advice to all crazy rock climbers: be ridiculously ignorant (climbing alone), saw a limb off and realize the beauty of life, write a book and you too could become rich and famous.

 

Eliza R. SnowFamily orignianlly disapproved of her courtship with Joseph Smith. She managed to convince them that he was make something of himself someday.Snow’s Brother Lorenzo became the fith prophet of the L.D.S church

One of Snow’s favorite sayings was, ” Count Your Many Blessings.”

“Zion’s Poetess” first wife of Joseph Smith. Later was a plural wife of Brigham Young. Mormon Pioneer hymn writer, poet, historian, archivist, relief-society organizer. Snow was an incredibly talented hymn writer, she wrote hundreds of hymns during her lifetime and she has the standing record for most hymns from a single compser within the Mormon hymnal. Ten are still within the modern book and are still ofen sung by Latter Day Saints in Sacrement meeting. Snow was the most brilliant woman Saint the Pioneers had, and she became a living institution on Mormon culture and good taste.