“How’s your love life?” It’s a question we ask jokingly, but for people who are single by chance, divorced, widowed, or who were betrayed by a partner, it’s a vexing question that can’t be answered by a gushy card or a heart-shaped box of chocolates they may or may not have gotten. It can be a cruel reminder that they are alone, possibly just because Cupid’s arrow never found them.
Valentine’s Day is a holiday that is equally loved and despised by many Utahns. Terms like ‘Singles’ Awareness Day’ and ‘Galentine’s Day’ have shifted the idea of Valentine’s Day from being a holiday that celebrates romantic love to a holiday that gives reason to celebrate all types of relationships ― particularly friendships, self-love, and family relationships. However, despite the positive connotations, many Utahns can’t get behind the idea of Valentine’s Day. Here are five reasons why:
Valentine’s Day is too commercialized
The results of a 2022 study performed by Vivint showed that 76 percent of American men and 68 percent of American women plan to give gifts to their significant other each year for Valentine’s Day. Some feel that this idea of buying gifts for their significant other simply because it’s Valentine’s Day encourages a commercialization of love and relationships.
“As I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen how the commercialization of Valentine’s Day has gotten in the way of relationships,” said Utah resident Isa Smith. “I think it should be more about spending time with that person rather than buying things for them.”
The obligatory nature of Valentine’s Day has left some Utahns feeling like their love for their significant other doesn’t mean as much if it’s not validated by their partner with a monetary gift.
“Societal standards have created this mindset that if you don’t give a Valentine’s Day gift to your partner, you don’t love them enough,” said Utah resident Annie Pickard. “Then you have to find the right gift that is equal to the relationship. It creates a lot of pressure.”
Valentine’s Day is pointless
Some would argue that Valentine’s Day is a “pointless holiday” because love between partners should be expressed throughout the year, not just on one specific day.
“The whole concept [of Valentine’s Day] is that for one day we go all out for the one we love and show them how much we love them,” said Pickard. “But that’s what we should be doing for the ones we love in the first place. It becomes an obligation and a ‘one time thing’ instead of something we strive to do every day.”
Many Utahns feel that, in showing love for their significant other each day, there shouldn’t be a need for one specific day each year dedicated to showing love.
“I just think that you should love someone the same every day instead of a love overload on only one,” said Smith.
Valentine’s Day is too cliche
Another common critique of Valentine’s Day is that its traditions are too cliche and don’t promote meaningful ideas or practices in a relationship.
“I personally hate Valentine’s Day because I don’t think it promotes anything meaningful,” said Utah resident Katherine Pinheiro. “I also think most of the gifts, candy and flowers geared toward the holiday are tacky.”
Valentine’s Day puts too much pressure on relationships
When one specific day each year is devoted to showing how much an individual loves their significant other, pressure to do so perfectly can be a significant roadblock in a relationship.
“Valentine’s Day can be full of pressure on both ends of any relationship,” said Pinheiro. “Always asking questions like, ‘Did you get the right flowers? Is the restaurant the best? How early is too early to celebrate or get a gift?’ can create stress. If you want to do these nice romantic things, why should it all have to be squished into one night?”
The pressure of posting Valentine’s Day celebrations on social media is also something that adds to the pressure many couples feel on this day of love.
“We live in a world run by social media, which isn’t always a bad thing, but it does create a sense of competition,” said Pinheiro. “Everyone just wants to get the biggest bouquet and go to the best restaurant so they can post about it. It doesn’t seem genuine anymore.”
Valentine’s Day reminds single people that they aren’t in a relationship
For those who aren’t in a relationship when February 14th rolls around, Valentine’s Day can serve as a reminder of one’s single status.
“Being single on Valentine’s Day can be super hard,” said Pickard. “It was especially hard for me as a teenager and college student. I got to see everyone around me give gifts, show affection, and do over-the-top things for friends or relationships while I was there alone.”
“People tend to think Valentine’s Day is only for romantic partners,” said Utah resident Mahlia Aznar. “But I think it can ― and should ― be for all sorts of relationships. It’s a good holiday to be able to strengthen all relationships and it can be a great opportunity for people to have experiences that bring them together.”
“I loved Valentine’s Day as a little kid,” said Pinheiro. “We would have parties in school and it didn’t focus on romantic love. Now that I’m older, I would change the idea that the point of Valentine’s Day is to celebrate a romantic interest or partner. I would probably enjoy the holiday more if it wasn’t so full of pressure and high expectations.”
Statistically, there is an corresponding rise in depression and suicide rates around Valentine’s Day. According to psychologists, this is not surprising considering that relationships, or a lack of them, are some of the biggest stressors in our lives. People who contemplate suicide may feel unloved or unworthy of love, or unworthy to love those they’re with. According to one doctor, “A day of love only brings awareness to those who are lonely.”
“People can take the holiday how they want to,” said Aznar. “You can find the bad in anything if you want to, but it can definitely strengthen relationships as well. It’s important to tell your partner and friends how much you love them and how important they are to you. I really think that’s what Valentine’s Day is all about.”
